Escape from Mr. Lemoncello's Library

So as promised, I am forcing myself to join the 21st century and review contemporary children's literature too. After reading Escape from Mr. Lemoncello's Library by Chris Grabenstein, I am now ready to return to the 20th century. See ya folks!

What can I say about this book. It STINKS! I so wanted to like it. I really did! But it was such a struggle to read. I had to force myself to read the last few pages. It lacks imagination, the characters are completely one-dimensional, the dialogue is lame, the plot is boring, and there are so many book and pop culture references, if you took them all out the book would probably be 20 pages rather than 288. The puzzles themselves are not especially challenging and with the exception of the rebus puzzles there are no illustrations.

The plot is simple - Twelve children are locked in a library. Using tools of the library, they must solve a series of puzzles in order to find their way out. The prize is something ridiculous - the chance to star in commercials for Mr. Lemoncello's products. There don't seem to be any repercussions for not finding your way out except that you don't win the prize. It's not like they'll be stuck in the library for eternity.  And the stakes aren't high for anyone except Haley whose parents are broke. The library -with its holographs and robots - is more like something you'd find at a Disneyland knockoff.  Oh and it has giant video screens just like every other place on earth these days.

Oompa Loompas!

Escape from Mr. Lemoncello's Library was obviously inspired by the wonderful Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl, but that book was both kooky and creepy filled with interesting people, suspense, humor, pathos and a totally original story. It invented Oompa Loompas for goodness sakes! And you cared about Charlie and rooted for him unlike the bores wandering around that "library."

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory also stays with you. I still think about Charlie's poor grandparents - all four of them - crammed into one bed! Not sure why that stayed with me more than anything else but maybe its because I love sleeping....I can't imagine Lemoncello's Library having any staying power. It's just too unmemorable.

Why should we care or root for these characters when they are not fleshed out:
Kyle - supposedly the hero. He loves games, hates to read. Really nice and seems to have a hero complex. yawn.
Akimi - Kyle's best friend. Sarcastic. That's it. That is all I know about her. Oh wait - she's half Asian.
Miguel - smart. Loves libraries. Makes bad puns.  Again that's all I know about him.
Clarence - Rich, smarmy, manipulative. One of the bad kids. But at least he has more of a personality than the good kids.
Haley - popular girl who is smart but plays at being dumb to get what she wants. 'Atta girl! Also, her parents are broke.
Sierra - Shy, smart girl. Always has her head in a book.
Mr. Lemoncello - the wacky game inventor who loved libraries as a kid and wants everyone to love them. Although his library is so fantastical the last thing you would want to do there is read.

Examples of terrible dialogue
"Check it out, bro. I totally aced my essay, man!"

And here's a brilliant exchange between two characters.
"Yo, Whazzup?"
"Nothin.' Just, you know, working' the puzzle."
"Yeah. Us too."
"Okay. Later."
"Later."
And then they thump their fists on their chests. Sigh.

Trying to be kooky
Putting Lemoncello in shoes that look like bananas and squeak songs does not a kooky character make. When he speaks he often does say something kooky but then you realize he is merely quoting from an actual iconic kooky book.

Does it have any redeeming qualities?
Yes. It makes you want to run out and read the books it references and put this one out of your mind forever.
Ok, it does encourage teamwork which is of course a good thing.

Supposedly Escape from Mr. Lemoncello's Library is more of a book for people who don't like to read but if you already like to read, this book might very well turn you off from reading. I think if you like solving puzzles and you don't care about silly things like character development or originality, you would like this book and unfortunately people do since it is a bestseller and has been optioned by Nickelodeon. Kill me now.

Even though I haven't finished my kooky scale, I can tell you that this book doesn't warrant a place on it anyway. It is too boring. Maybe I need a boring scale too.

Mr. Stinky 

Wait! I've got it! Books that just plain stink will now get Stinky the Stinkbug! So, thank you Escape from Mr. Lemoncello's Library for inspiring a new category. And let me tell you, you  stink up a storm!